If you’re a young man seeking wheels you’re probably taking a number of factors into account when deciding on the right vehicle. There’s gas milage, affordability, theres -- aw, who are we kidding, you want a car that will help you get laid. With that in mind, we’ll help you out by giving a selections you should avoid at all costs if you hope to lose your virginity before you start collecting social security.
1 The Yaris Verso is a cross between a supermini and a van. It manages to be ugly at doing both things -- that’s what I call multi-tasking!
2 This is the Fiat Multipla. Its main function is to hold six people -- three in the front, three in the back. Mission accomplished. It might have been helpful if it came with paper bags for all passengers to hide their heads in shame.
3 The Paceman is a five-door SUV. Take it from me, it looks no better from the front.
4 Don’t be fooled by the fancy name, the Pontiac Aztek is not a glorious car.
5 Made available in 2005 the Tribeca is yet another example of a car that should have never left the factory.
6 The Chevy Chevette is the kind of car that I could imagine taking to the Peter Frampton concert in 1977. Yes, it’s that 70s looking.
7 The infamously ugly Edsel was first rolled out in 1958. It hasn’t gotten prettier with time.
8 The Matadoor was, when first introduced, declared to be uglier than a Gremlin. How ugly is that? Check out number 9.
9 Yep, that’s an ugly car.
10 In case you’re wondering, yes there are a lot of cars from the 70s on this list. If you think 70s TV was bad, imagine driving any of these cars from the 1970s.
11 Subaru released the Imprezza in 2000. It’s not so much hideous as horribly without style. Stay away!
12 The Yugo was an inexpensive car that saved a lot of people money. But there are things that are worth money. Like driving a car that doesn’t embarrass you.
13 The Ford Scorpio sounds like a really badass car -- and it is. If by ‘badass’ you mean heartbreakingly ugly.
14 The Chevrolet Vega probably looked cool at some time in history. My guess it was February of 1976
15 The Chevrolet Corvair was just as bad as the Vega. The 70s was a bad time to own a Chevy.
16 The Ford Pinto was literally a disaster waiting to happen. As if being ugly wasn’t bad enough there was also the danger of it exploding in the event of being rear ended. Talk about lose-lose.
17 This Ferrari 330 proves that even trendy sports cars can be hideous.
18 The Japanese Sim-lei proves what we’ve suspected all along: that the Japanese are better at everything -- even making ugly cars.
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